Isn't it funny how we keep our promises to other people, but never to ourselves?
How would I feel if I didn't keep a promise to someone? I'd feel terrible. I'd feel guilty and I'd do what I could to make up for it. At the very least, I'd apologize profusely.
I've never apologized to me for failing myself. But I'm going to do so right now.
Dear me,
I'm sorry if I ever made you feel you weren't worthy enough to keep a promise. I'm sorry that I felt like it was okay to stay committed to everyone around me, but not you. I'm sorry that I've looked in the mirror so many times, hated what I saw, and said, "I give up." I'm sorry for all of the hateful things that I've said to you, but wouldn't even think about saying to anyone else, like "You're fat." "You're incapable." "You're old and falling apart." "You're a failure."
I love you so much and I'm sorry. You are capable of anything you put your mind to. You can make promises to yourself and keep them, just like you would for anyone else.
You are unstoppable. You are brave. You are worth taking care of. I'm making a promise to you right now: I will take care of your body by fueling it with healthy foods. I will stop eating things that I know will make you not feel well afterwards. I will surround myself with supportive, loving people who make me want to be a better person. I will not involve you in the toxic drama that enters your path. I promise to not let other people's negative bullshit live rent-free in my head.
And if I falter, if I make a mistake, or if I stumble, I promise to not be angry or disappointed. I will show you grace and love. I will not call you ugly names. You are human and you are not perfect and it's okay to fail sometimes or to try and not succeed.
You are an amazing human being and I love you. You deserve the best.
Love,
Me
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