The past week has been a whirlwind. David had his neck surgery last Tuesday, and while the surgery itself went well, he didn't end up in recovery until late in the day. I had to leave the hospital before the surgery was over because the dogs had to get picked up at doggie daycare before the facility closed. I figured I'd get them home and if I needed to, I could run back to the hospital. The surgeon called me at 4:30 p.m. to let me know that things went well, and then David ended up being in recovery until 6:30 p.m., so there was no point in going back to the VA hospital. I called him once I figured he was settled in his room, but he was pretty drowsy and so I planned on just going back to the hospital the next morning.
The next morning I went to the hospital and we hung out until they decided he could be discharged, which ended up being later in the afternoon. We were both so relieved to get him home! He has to wear a neck brace for three weeks and is not allowed to lift anything or bend over. He sleeps in the recliner because laying in the bed is too painful. His pain level is pretty manageable. He actually complains more about a sore throat than anything else.
Tomorrow is his birthday and I'm surprising him with a gaming system (a Nintendo Switch). He'll have restrictions and won't be back to work for a while during recovery, so I figured that the Nintendo would give him something to do.
We've had so many people sending thoughts and prayers our way, which is greatly appreciated. People are even sending me good vibes. They seem to appreciate that being on the caretaker side is challenging, too.
The last couple of months have been challenging for me because of David's health issues. He can't drive, and his activity level has been limited, so it's been left to me to get most of the things done. Besides all of my regular tasks - working full time, taking care of the dogs, laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, and cooking - I've added mowing, pulling weeds, trash and recycling, and making sure David gets his medications, meals, and dressing changes.
Then there is the stack of books that I'd like to read. And getting my workouts in. Meal planning and food prep are also on the list. And I have shows I'm trying to stay caught up on. I'd love to write more blog posts, too.
The worrying and wondering when things will get back to normal (will they EVER get back to normal?) is very tiring.
I'm not writing this as a "woe is me" post. It's just reality, and I know that there are a lot of people out there who are also balancing a gazillion things, are taking care of loved ones who are sick, and are feeling genuinely stressed and overwhelmed.
I truly believe that things happen in life for a reason and that experiences are there to teach us. The lesson for me over the last couple of months has been to set priorities and give up the idea that I can do everything. I can try, but all it does is leave me feeling stressed, overwhelmed and exhausted.
Over the last several weeks, I've been trying to set priorities each day. I apply this to both my personal and professional life because with everything that's been going on, it's been difficult to keep up with everything. Some moments I just sit and feel paralyzed because there's so much to do that I don't even know where to begin. So now I'm practicing asking myself questions: What absolutely needs to be done today? What can wait a few days or be put off until David is well? What has to get done each day and what can be put off until the weekend? These are questions that I've started asking myself on a daily, and sometimes more frequent, basis.
One of the things that I make sure is on my list of priorities is my morning workouts. It's my quiet time before the day starts. David is usually still sleeping and the dogs have been fed and gone outside to potty. Exercising is my biggest stress reliever and no matter what else happens for the rest of the day, I know I at least got a workout in.
I stopped tracking my food and worrying about what I'm eating for now. I'm making as many healthy choices as I can, but I'm also trying to keep things simple with pre-made salad kits, canned tuna, scrambled eggs, and ready-to-eat veggies and hummus. David can only eat soft foods right now, so if I make him some mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese, I can't resist having some myself! Carbs and comfort food are needed sometimes!
I've stopped stressing about the yard work so much. We have a beautiful backyard with lots of flowers and plants, but it takes a lot of work to maintain it and I just can't do it by myself. So I do what I can and just tell myself that I'll get to it when I get to it. I actually enjoy working out in the yard; I love being out in the sun and getting my hands in the dirt, but it's hard work and some weekends I'm just too tired to do it. Bless their hearts, those flowers and plants seem to thrive despite my neglect, and I love them for their resilience and strength. It's actually quite inspirational! (I'm sure there's a metaphor in there somewhere, but it's escaping me at the moment.)
My hope is that in a few weeks, I'll be writing a post about how much David has improved and how things are starting to feel back to normal. I'll hopefully be more caught up at work, and the yard will be under control. But if not, I hope I'm at a point of more acceptance; of knowing that I'm doing the best that I can and eventually, things will get done.
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