Unicorns and rainbows

It's almost the end of January and it's been more of the same. I had this little fantasy playing in my head that a new year would bring about these awesome things. What things, I have no idea, but I had hoped that a clean slate would mean that all of 2023 would be erased and it would be all unicorns and rainbows in 2024.

No can do. Work is insane. Because we're short-handed, I picked up additional work. I'm still experiencing imposter syndrome - how am I working with all of these incredibly smart, talented people? I don't belong here.

But of course, I do. I'm doing a great job and I'm learning so much. Still, though. That confidence thing is still a slippery beast to hold on to.

David is still having health issues. He's most likely looking at another surgery due to a fall he experienced because his balance is still off. He saw his eye doctor earlier this week, who agrees that yes, David probably did have a small stroke and he is having some vision problems. So now he'll get to wear two different prescription glasses.

I'm starting to believe that 2024 is going to be a journey of not only practicing contentment (my word of the year), but also acceptance of new normals.

New normal #1: David may never be back to where he was pre-stroke. This is hard. He has always been a hard-working, busy, always on a new project type of guy. We had dreams of traveling, going on long hikes in the mountains, riding our bikes in new places. What if we won't be able to do those things due to David's physical limitations? I don't want to give up, but I also feel like I need to prepare myself mentally. This has been a huge struggle, for both of us. Time will only tell. It could be that he'll fully recover from everything he's going through right now and man, that would be amazing. But we have to be realistic, also. It's better to just take things one day at a time.

New normal #2: My body has changed and unless I want to constantly count calories, track macros, do intensive workouts, and obsess about the scale, this is my body now. I'm slowly replacing my clothes with bigger, looser things that make me feel more comfortable in my skin. I'm doing workouts that are good for me, but don't make me feel like I can't walk for a week straight. I feel good. I have energy throughout the day. I'm sleeping well. Other than my hormone replacement therapy for menopausal symptoms, I don't take any other medications or have any health issues. This is 57, baby - fluffy and fabulous!

What can I do to help continue to transition into this current life normal? Some of the shorter term goals that I'm working on:

1. STOP watching videos and reading articles that tell me how to lose weight. They are a complete waste of time.

2. Get more adventurous with cooking well-balanced, healthy meals. When we moved I got rid of all of my cookbooks. Now, I'm slowly building up a small collection again and am trying new recipes.

3. Find fun things that David and I can do together to break up the monotony of hanging out at home watching TV. Once the weather improves and the days get longer, we can go back to our evening and weekend walks, which we both really enjoyed. We enjoy spending time with our family and will definitely be doing more of that. Most importantly, I feel like we should have new, fun adventures together which won't be physically too hard for David.

4. Purge my closet and get rid of things that I might wear again when I lose x amount of pounds. Replace the clothes with fun, flowing, loose clothing that makes me feel good about myself.

5. Stop stressing so much. Life is just too damn short. Focus on not working so hard, but playing harder.

Maybe 2024 really can be unicorns and rainbows.....